Not Enabling The Problem Drinker. Why Enabling Doesn’t Help And What Does.
Not Enabling The Problem Drinker. Why Enabling Doesn’t Help And What Does.
I was confused about the meaning of compassion, I thought it meant making excuses for the alcoholic or covering bad cheques for them, I have now found another word for this behavior, “enabling.” I now realize that when I cleaned up the consequences of the problem drinkers behavior, I enabled them to continue drinking comfortably and to continue acting out without having to pay the price. I now realize that if I try to spare the problem drinker the consequences of their drinking, it may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt them to seek help, they can continue to deny that they have a drinking problem as long as I continue to provide an automatic escape from the consequences of their drinking. It is a sad truth that the people who care most about a problem drinker often do more harm than good. By my own actions I might actually help to prolong the drinking years and the agony that goes with them. So what can I do instead? I can attend Al-Anon meetings regularly and open AA meetings, they are the people who can help me to see the whole situation more clearly.
When a person enables the problem drinker, consequences are not allowed to happen because loved ones are too busy “helping”, alcoholism can be prolonged and made worse by loved ones enabling the problem drinker.
Al-Anon and AA in Bermuda:
Al-Anon in Bermuda – Tel: 236 8606
Al-Anon in Bermuda – Website: www.ncbermudaafg.org
Al-Anon International – Tel: 888 425 2666
Al-Anon International – Website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org
AA in Bermuda – Tel: 297 0965
Al-Anon Meetings in Bermuda:
Sunday 7:00pm-8:00pm Caron Foundation, Smiths
Monday 7:00pm-8:00pm Caron Foundation, Smiths
Monday 8:00pm-9:30pm St. Peters Church Hall, St. Georges
Tuesday 12:15pm-1:45pm Mechanics Bldng, Church St, Penthouse Floor
Wednesday 5:30pm-6:30pm St. Paul’s Church, Paget
Friday 5:30pm-6:30pm St. Paul’s Church, Paget